Tuesday 2 July 2013

It’s the little things…



I've been gone.  I'm not really sorry, because I've just been feeling too awful to be sorry. But I have been feeling a bit guilty, and now I'm back I can definitely confirm that the little things really do make a difference. Because the moment this tiny baby inside me hit the size of a kidney bean, it was like I was riding the Mary Rose after a candy floss and cherryade binge - all day. Morning sickness?! Pah! Bizarrely, my pregnancy app has just informed me it's now the size of a banana (?!), and this very moment is the first time in 13 weeks I felt I could say anything at all without punctuating every sentence with the phrase, "feel sick." Oh yes, I've been fun to be around these last few months...
One thing I have been dwelling on a lot lately, as my brain has slowly turned to porridge and I fight the urge to drink entire jugs of chicken stock, has been what a massive difference something so tiny can make. Because aside from the excitement and terror and fuzziness that comes with finding out that in a few months time you are going to have your very own wrinkly-faced (and hopefully not too angry) little creature to love and look after, there has been a slow creeping realisation about what this means for me. I mean, I'm not a young blushing 20-something - I've had plenty of time to get all selfish and stuck in my ways. Years and years have gone by in which I've been able to do exactly what I wanted. I've had acres of time to devote to naval gazing and writing mile-long lists of resolutions and ambitions. Life has been about me, me, me, and unfortunately I'm not sure I've used it very wisely until now. And now, all those things that really matter to me, have to take second place. Because I already know that nothing is going to be more important than this little kicking banana. Anyway, in an attempt to make the most of my last four months sans enfant, i've signed up to this month's Camp Nano in an attempt to have a first draft complete by mid August. I only need to write 1600 words a day to do it which takes me about an hour and a half. Yup, just an hour and a half a day to a first draft in six weeks. Oh, and apparently if I spend fifteen minutes four times a week doing the Matt Roberts arm workout I can also have arms like Sam Cam and Michelle Obama.  Ah, I feel better already. It really is the little things...

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